so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
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