Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
