oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Randomize
