What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
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