all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
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