i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
