wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
