So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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