There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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