actually, I'm a sock model
I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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