her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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