My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Randomize
