don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
