well you can't waste a boner
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
