the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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