You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
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