i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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