she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Randomize
