he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
