If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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