Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
