Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
