I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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