i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
