you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Randomize
