My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Randomize
