that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
