Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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