your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
