thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
