If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
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She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I have tasted many bathrooms
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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