he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
