I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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