please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
Drinking vodka straight out of a beer bottle because I don't want to be judged. Not my best idea and not my worst.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
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