I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
