Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
splinters make it hard to masturbate
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize