wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
