at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
