There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I need help removing her.
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
Randomize
