I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
