Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
