Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
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