Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
