Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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