how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
