Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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