Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize