chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
