i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
You have to summon your inner elephant
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
