He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think I sprained my soul last night
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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