made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
