I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
