clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
Randomize
