walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
