so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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