She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
