And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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