Three words: puerto rican gang bang
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize