You're my little dorito
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
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Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
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STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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