My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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