What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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