Im at strip club and am horny
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
